Again, living longer, if done well, means your circle of friends gets bigger and bigger while your inclination for a wedding size probably gets smaller and smaller.
Here was our compromise. We held a Wedding Eve Bash and broke all rules and invited friends who were not invited to the wedding (lots of work friends and local friends).
We started thinking about a small wedding with a big celebration after the honeymoon. the more we thought about it, the more we wanted the special people who flew in for the festivities to meet our local friends so the idea of merging the rehearsal dinner and a wedding bash took shape.
I believe we violated most rules of etiquette but the guests had a terrific time and appreciated being included and it meant so much to have them there. The wedding included 100 guests while the Wedding Eve Bash was 150.
The Wedding Eve Bash also gave me the opportunity to go in wildly different directions for each event. Where the wedding day was shades of ivory and cream, wedding eve was bright tropical flowers and bright polka dot table cloths. Where the wedding was a formal, sit down dinner, wedding eve was a buffet, with open seating and a Coldstone Creamery sundae bar. It satisfied my wedding wishes at both extremes.
It wasn't a perfect fix however because we had another 50 or so friends who lived around the country. We so wanted to include them in the wedding and it hurt to X them off the list. That said, we had a hard enough time talking to every guest with 100 guests so we are glad we didn't do a huge wedding after all.
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